Unlisted Thoughts is proud to announce that Clive Frederick Palmer is now a certified cretin, git, idiot, imbecile or moron in the Great State of NSW.
Unlisted Thoughts understands that Mr Palmer has worked hard to earn this certificate of status. For that, we congratulate him.
Download link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1EO23VJJqz0cBQZF2aw_gB1Y9E_Cl9-wq/view?usp=drive_link
Ever since the first Marshall stepped on the crusty shores of South England, Marshalls have accomplished much. Unlisted Thoughts recognises the achievements of Marshalls from the past, the present, and the future. However, Unlisted Thoughts, in partnership with the Observatory for Video Game Plots and Stories, is saddened to announce that there are too many characters with the name ‘Marshall’ in our video games.
Senior Assistant Researcher Mo ‘Marshall’ Funn from the Observatory noted: “From Colonel Marshall in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 to Marshal in Pokémon Black and White, we have noticed that there is a disproportionate number of ‘Marshalls’ in gaming. We even have Marshall Law for goodness’s sake.”
Unlisted Thoughts believes that if you named your character ‘John Marshall’, you lack any creativity and imagination, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Unlisted Thoughts does not forgive the inclusion of Troy Marshall in Call of Duty: Black Ops 6 as he could have easily been Troy Mandell or Troy Marichal.
Unlisted Thoughts wants action. Therefore, we have nominated the following the surnames to use in lieu of Marshall:
Unlisted Thoughts believes that the overuse of the name ‘Marshall’ contributes to higher levels of confusion between the name and the position/rank of ‘Marshal’.
Enough is enough.
We need diversity in names. It is easy to just revert back to ‘Marshall’ and call it a day. It is not going above and beyond by avoiding the Marshall cliché. It is just doing your job.
Executive Director of the Observatory for Video Game Plots and Stories Kid Marshall said:
“We can do better than to fill my games with more Marshalls when there are so many good surnames to use out there.”
Professional Trainspotter and Tube User Jeff Marshall said:
“When I play my video games, I don’t want to see more Marshalls. I get enough at home.”
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Media Contact: Tony Abbott Marshall
Download link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/10_He4FbSbqObk8F0IRI7Szz2ViF3vRo3/view?usp=drive_link
Unlisted Thoughts issues its strong condemnation to The Sydney Morning Herald for recent transgressions. The masthead, once widely respected, is a shell of its former self. We have seen The Sydney Morning Herald fall from grace as it accepts the tempting alure of TrashY™ and EasY™ content.
This is utterly shameful.
While we are saddened, Unlisted Thoughts hopes that there is still enough time for The Sydney Morning Herald to turn around. This will take firm and difficult leadership. It will be a bumpy road, but this is the path to be taken to redeem The Sydney Morning Herald.
However, if the will is not there from above, then The Sydney Morning Herald is doomed to fall even further.
Unlisted Thoughts will engage several scene fillers to act as frowning background people. Please stay tuned to relevant channels for these opportunities.
Australia needs more reputable and engaging newspapers, not less.
The Sydney Morning Herald has lost its way.
Member for Radbourn, Urich and Boardman James Boardman MP said:
“The Sydney Morning Herald that had thought and care
should not just exist in our fondest memories. If The Sydney Morning Herald
doesn’t get its act together, then that’s another win for Mr Murdoch.”
Avid Sydney Morning Herald reader and pensioner Emeline Eberlin said:
“This is the last straw. I thought that article about that cop was the last straw, but this is the last straw.
“I never thought I would live to see the day The Sydney Morning Herald stoop down to the level of news.com.au.
“I’ll switch to The Australian.”
Vice-President of the Association of Parents for Advanced and Fair Media Henry said:
“You can either damage institutions with a sledgehammer or you can chip it away with a thousand hits—with a chisel. The Sydney Morning Herald has chosen the latter. For shame.”
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Media Contact: Robert James Lee Hawke
