MEDIA RELEASE: Coptic Pope still alive

Download link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/13XDhbtQ6tBsyXMZgd-22jyaiKCBjtmEn/view?usp=drive_link

Unlisted Thoughts is proud to announce that the Pope of the Coptic Orthodox Church, Tawadros II, is still alive despite reports otherwise.

As the Coptic Pope of the Sea of Alexandria, Tawadros II is continuing to perform his duties of being the Bishop of Alexandria and the chairman of the Holy Synod of the Coptic Orthodox Church. 

While he is no Patriarch of Moscow and all Rus’, Unlisted Thoughts is confident that Tawadros II has the mental capacity and physical ability to perform his duties.

Unlisted Thoughts does not understand the hullabaloo of a Pope dying when the Coptic Pope can still stand on his own two feet. 

We have even sent a reporter to gently strike the Coptic Pope’s head with a silver hammer and then call out the Coptic Pope’s baptismal name three times. While the Coptic Pope did not take kindly to the hammer, he did respond on the second call of his baptismal name.

Unlisted Thoughts has not heard back from this reporter.

Unlisted Thoughts was saddened to learn that Pope Romanus Ongombe died in 2018. Our condolences are with his family.

We have been unable to confirm if the antipope Peter III, Supreme Pontiff of the Palmarian Catholic Church, is alive. However, we do not claim that he is deceased or that the supreme death of Pope Francis makes Pope Peter III the legitimate Pope of the Roman Catholic Church. Unlisted Thoughts fails to recognise Pope Peter III as the Bishop of Rome.

Unlisted Thoughts calls on interested readers to examine the Wikipedia list of popes who died violently.

Let’s give Papa some rest.

Religious scholar and non-practising Jain man Zilan Serokî said:

“It’s interesting to see world leaders mourn the death of Pope Francis when no-one, not one, have even picked up the phone to call Pope Tawadros II.”

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Media Contact: Michael Kevin Rudd

MEDIA RELEASE: Keep Auntie Australian – Day, Month, Year

Download link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1s7IpGJ9bUXtYVbcCMYQ-Q4Y2MkuDCmAw/view?usp=drive_link 

The Australian Broadcasting Corporation is one of the best things Australia has ever created. There is no dispute about this. However, Auntie has a horrendous tumour on the side of its brain: its style for dates.

As stated in the Australian Broadcasting Corporation’s style guide:

Our style for dates: February 9, 1985. Abbreviate top-of-the-hour times, but write others in full: 6am, 3pm, 9:30pm, 11:58pm. 

This is not on.

As described in the Australian Government style manual, the good people of the sunburnt and God-forsaken country of Australia use—and use it proudly while they’re at it—a format known as Day–Month–Year. 

This system is the most logical one when we’re not using ISO 8601 for there are days in a month and months in a year.

The Australian Broadcasting Corporation is one of the largest, non-Murdoch media companies in Australia. If Auntie is going to use the Month–Day–Year, then we will have a toxic influence on how we write dates. 

We call on the Australian Broadcasting Corporation to get it right.

Always keep Auntie authentically Australian. 

It’s not hard. Use Day–Month–Year like we have done above.

Man born on 1 October 1995 Oskar Vengris said:

“I expected this sort of trash from Murdoch, but the ABC? 

“I’m going to go back to SBS.”

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Media Contact: William Morris Hughes

 

 

MEDIA RELEASE: Forget About It – No More Amnesiac Protagonists

Download link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1L-52vaLR0Uu0dxCT6qgvkYZvgwt-nBn3/view?usp=drive_link

For too long, amnesiacs have been over-represented in video game protagonists. However, this is not because the video game industry respects the memory loss syndrome. Instead, this is because video game plot writers—the most oppressed group in society—are lazy, uncreative hacks who think the easiest way to let the player choose their character’s path is to make the character an amnesiac. 

By making the playable protagonist an amnesiac, game developers now have carte blanche to have both story mechanics and plot points lazily dictated to the protagonist.

Unlisted Thoughts and the Observatory for Video Games Plots and Stories, with the assistance of TV Tropes, believe that video game plot writers can do better. In the Observatory’s study of 16 video games where the protagonist is an amnesiac, they identified 12 alternative back stories that would have also worked. Additionally, they also suggest game developers can find better ways to integrate tutorial mechanics.

“I played Knights of the Old Republic. It’s brilliant, that is, but I just don’t see why my character just don’t know anything,” James ‘Frogert23’ Song said. Song suggests that games can take the Balder’s Gate 3 route of having some protagonists be amnesiac while others have established memories and backgrounds.

Gamers might not deserve better, but we think they should get better plot writing.

We grant an exception to games where the plot revolves around seeking the character’s memories. However, this can get contrived if the character turns out to be evil in the past or—heaven forbid—it was magic.

Enough is enough. We do not need more amnesiac protagonists.

We ask all video game plot writers to step up and do what’s right.

Acting Executive Director of the Observatory for Video Game Plots and Stories Ban Ki-Moon Please said:

“Amnesia should not be a tool for lazy writing. If we keep letting writers get away with it, I might need to give myself a memory deficit.”

TV Tropes Acting Senior Troper FuriousDragon said:

“It was innovative and new the first time, but having the reveal be that the action character in a full-body suit is a woman is tired and plays on old stereotypes. If you reveal that they’re an amnesiac—that’ll surprise me.”

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Media Contact: John Curtin